What Happened When I Left My Career Behind Part 1

As I said before, I knew God was calling me to a period of trust and time with Him.  I determined it to be about a month, in part because I knew how long I could cover expenses without a job in hand.  I haven’t even gotten started yet and I’ve already started off on the wrong foot.  I’m putting my trust in my bank account and not God.  Looking back, I wish it was the only mistake I made, but as that first month of unemployment continued on I ventured into another mistake, but God used that mistake to reveal to me a big reason why I’m in the season I’m in. 

My first week home went pretty good.  I was in the word more.  Essentially, I doubled my study time and prayer time each day.  This was extremely beneficial.  Being home also enabled me to spend a bunch more time with my family.  Again, it was extremely beneficial.  One would think that I would take a hint and continue on, but I have a hard time sitting still and I got extremely stir crazy.  After my first full week home, I sparked up the job search again.  I justified it because I know the time it takes to onboard someone into a new position, and if I was going to need to work in the next month then I would have to get a job rather quickly.  I also was pretty confident I could get a job because of my credentials.  After about a day and a half, I garnered a job interview with an insurance company.  The hiring manager seemed pretty cool, said all the right things, and I was offered a position.  I told him I needed about 3 days to pray about it and make sure it’s the right fit.  He said okay.  After about two days, I jumped the gun and accepted the position.  I should have waited that third day because God probably would have said, “I don’t want you to do it”.  


Nevertheless, the next two weeks were spent getting my insurance license.  I reverted my prayer and study time back to usual, and, even though I was home, the time with my family reverted too.  This was totally not what God wanted.  In spite of not knowing that yet, I got my license, signed my contract to work and sell insurance for this particular company, and the excitement of it all…wasn’t there.  It should have been a red flag, but I just overlooked it and somehow tried to make myself think that God was orchestrating this.  Anyway, here I am in the insurance industry.  To say it plainly, it sucked.  The schedule was great, because I was able to set when I wanted to work, but being a sales agent is no fun at all.  I thought I could handle it, but the more I tried, the more I prayed, the more I didn’t succeed.  Making sales calls and trying to solicit for business is just awful.  To make matters worse, God had called an end to my complaining when I left my last career, but here I was spending my days complaining yet again.  And, being an independent agent there wasn’t a whole lot of people I could complain too so my poor wife took the brunt of it.  God, I’m so blessed to have her, thank you.             

After about 5 weeks of this drudgery, I couldn’t take it any more.  I wasn’t able to understand why I had such a hard time making sales calls.  I’m J.R.  I can do anything.  For anyone who knows me, you know confidence is something that is definitely not lacking.  I also have a list of credentials on why I should be able to do this, but in the end it all meant nothing.  On May 6^th, I remember this distinctly; I was sitting in my car so unbelievably frustrated when I said, “God, what is wrong with me, why can’t I do this?”  It was then I realized that God was humbling me.  It says in James 4:6, “But He gives more grace.  Therefore, He says: God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble”.  I needed God’s grace, but I had some pride issues to work with.

God does not like pride, and I was full of it.  The Book of Proverbs is littered with reasons why God hates pride.  Proverbs 8:13 says, “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way And the perverse mouth I hate.  Jesus says in Mark 7:20-23, “20And He said, “What comes out of a man, that defiles a man.  21For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, 22thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness.  23All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”  Being prideful was keeping me rooted in the world.  1John2:16 says, “For all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-is not of the Father but is of the world.” 

So I left the insurance industry.  By God’s grace I was able to recoup my expenses, and I still have to manage the clients I signed up, but I was able to get back on to what God wanted me to do.  It says in Psalm 119:67, “Before I was afflicted (humbled) I went astray, But now I keep Your word”.  The interesting thing about this is that my pride has been getting challenged since December of 2009, and not just here with the insurance company.  When God called me to change careers I immediately thought of how easy it would be because of my long list of credentials.  The humbling process should have dawned on me along time ago, because after a year of job searching, I came up empty handed.

The last two months have been such a blessed time of growing in my relationship with the Lord and spending time with my family.  As I look at it, this time I’m in is a lot like the time the Jews spent in the wilderness after their exodus out of Egypt awaiting the promise land.  Deuteronomy 8:2, “And you shall remember that the LORD your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.”  Did I fail the test, yes I did and few times for that matter, but I serve a gracious and merciful God.  Psalm 86:13,15, “13For great is Your mercy toward me, and You have delivered me from the depths of Sheol…15But You, O LORD, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, Longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth."

Is pride completely out of me?  No, I still have edges that need to be smoothed out which is why God continues to put things in my path that bring forth humility.  Proverbs 15:33, “The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom, And before honor is humility.”

I will end part 1 with this, Proverbs 3:5-6, “5Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”    

Why I Left a Career Behind

Francis Chan says in his book Crazy Love, “Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy.  Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers”.  I mention that quote because of the incredible season I’ve been going through in my relationship with God the past few months.  I’ve been in this particular season, however, since December of 2009, and it really started to take shape in March of this year.  I thought it would be best to chronicle what has happened so others can see the awesome workings of our heavenly Father when we are obedient to His call.

I say this season started in December of 2009 because that is when God put it on my heart that it was time to make a change in my career.  This was a tough call for me because I had been at my job for 10 years at the time, and really enjoyed doing what I did, but being the smart man that I am I could see why God was making the call (or so I thought), and I started searching for a job.  However, unbeknownst to me I only had half the story.  In any event, I started sending out countless resumes and filling out countless applications just to come up empty handed.  After a year of rejection, I almost decided to give up hope, and started to question God’s call for me to do this because I thought it was going to be an immediate change.         

Here is where the story gets interesting.  In January of this year I attended a Pastor's Conference in Merritt Island, FL at Calvary Chapel Merritt Island.  I will warn you now, if you don't want your life messed with then do not attend a Pastor's Conference.  Anyway, while I was there the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I would be taking a leap of faith soon.  I immediately started asking God what this meant.  I'm always willing to do what God puts on my heart I just need to know what it is.  After seeking the Lord diligently in prayer for the next week, He finally revealed what it is He wanted me to do.  I was at work, in prayer, when I got the notion from the Holy Spirit that He wanted me to leave my job even though I had no job to go too.  Where’s my faith, right?  Well, I took this notion and brought it too my wife.  I was expecting her to say, “No way.  You’re not doing that.  How are we going to survive?” but she didn’t say any of that.  She was actually in agreement.  She even shared this scripture from Matthew 18:8-9 that says, “(Jesus speaking) 8And if your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you.  It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire.  9And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you.  It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.” 

In previous conversations with Tara, we would talk about how my job was affecting my walk with the Lord, and things like lust, complaining, and pride would take center stage.  Jesus says in Matthew 5:28, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart”.  Lust has always been a battle where I worked because of the high traffic of women that cycled through each and every day.  In regards to complaining, it says in Philippians 2:14-15, “14Do all things without murmuring and disputing, 15that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world”.  I found myself complaining quite often because I didn’t agree with decisions and practices that were being put into place at work, and though I voiced my concerns to the appropriate people, I still complained about them to others.  Then there’s pride, which I’ll talk about later.  Lastly, was my witness of Christ to my co-workers.  Jesus calls us to be “the salt of the earth” in Matthew 5:13 and to be “the light of the world” in Matthew 5:14, and I don’t feel I was the best light and could have done better. 

After speaking with my wife, I then took to the next two weeks in prayer, fasting, and seeking counsel to confirm that this is what God was calling me to do.  I felt like Gideon in the book of Judges chapters 6-8.  If you don’t know the story, God had called Gideon to take on the army of the Midianites to save Israel from persecution.  Gideon, in his eyes, was the absolute opposite of a warrior and he kept asking God for confirmation to ensure this is what He wanted him to do.  Just as He did with Gideon, God continued to confirm that this is what He wanted, so on February 5^th I gave my notice. 

When I gave my notice, I then thought I would have a job soon.  I actually got a job interview a week later, but was turned down.  My last day was on February 22^nd and still had no new job nor did I have any interviews lined up, but my spirit wasn’t diminished because I knew God was calling me to a season of trust and time with Him.  I was thinking it would be about a month.  How little did I know...